Parenthood

To the makers of Parenthood,

Thank you! Thank you for making a show that is relatable, that makes me laugh and cry and pray to God I am making good choices for my littles. Thanks for making it at least feel like the hours spent on netflix are in some way benefitting my parenting skills!

Love, Amy

Happy Halloween

To my little monster & my superhero,

You two are the cutest!

Love, Mom

Beauty

To my boys,

Today I have been thrown up on, used as a tissue, and have changed clothes three times. I have food dribbled down the front of me, my hair is pulled back in a ponytail that hasn't even been brushed today, my finger nail polish is completely chipped, and I desperately need to visit a salon to get my eyebrows waxed and my hair colored. Basically, I am looking pretty hot.

Yet, I feel beautiful. You make me feel beautiful. Your smile lights up the room when you see me. You throw your arms around my neck and tell me you love me to the moon and back infinity plus one times. You laugh at my attempt to dance.  Your little sick self rests comfortably in my arms. You tell me I look like a princess when I hide in my closet to try on a pre-baby dress.

I may not turn heads walking down the street but I couldn't feel more beautiful than just being your mommy today. Thank you for helping remind me beauty is much deeper than a good hair day and wearing eyeliner.

Love,
Your mommy

Sleeplessness

Dear God,

Give me patience and energy. And please, please help my baby sleep through the night (or just wake up once, that'd be ok too).

Love, Amy

Shelter

To my precious boys,

I want to keep you at home with me forever. I want you to stay within these safe, understanding walls. We can sing, dance, build forts, play superheroes, read books, color, heck, I'll even let you watch movies but I want you to stay here, right here, in the security and comfort of our home. Mommy loves you, loves all of you, your fun quarks and silly imaginations, your cute freckles and stinky feet. Mommy believes you two are the greatest and does not want anyone to tell you otherwise. I don't want to see you hurt because someone calls you a "baby" or looks at you strange because they don't understand why you run around making whooshing noises with your hands.  You are special and unique and deeply loved.

But mommy also knows she can not shelter you forever.  There is this big, amazing world with beautiful people that I also want you to experience and embrace. Yes, you will have awesome friends you can depend on.  Yes, you will succeed in lots of things (not everything, but lots). Yes, there will be times where you will be picked first. But yes, there will also be times where you will be picked last. Yes, you will experience rejection. Yes, you will be hurt or misunderstood. Yes, you will come home crying one day because your feelings were hurt. Although I would love to make sure your heart never has to feel pain know those are the times where character is built and God's strength and grace is prevalent. You will learn from those times.  You will be a better man because of those times. But when you can't see it and you just need someone to tell you how absolutely wonderful you are, you know who to come to!  I love you boys!

Love, Mom

Belly Button

Dear Belly Button,

I don't think you will ever be the same.  After every run and ab workout I am checking on you to see if you have gone back to your cute concave self but thus far, no such luck.  At first, belly button I was very frustrated by this but now I am trying to embrace your squishy outtieness. You have stretched for two beautiful healthy baby boys and for that I am thankful. You stand as a symbol for the lives I had the privilege to hold inside me. The precious lives that kicked you, poked you, pushed you till you were nonexistent. I don't want to look at you as fugly but as a token of being a mommy. Thank you for the reminder every day about how amazing my body is and how fortunate I am to have carried the two greatest gifts I have ever been given!

Love, Amy

Superhero Saturday: Trash truck guys

To the trash truck guys,

You bring joy to little boys all over North Park Thursday mornings! Shrieks and then little thunder pats of footsteps are heard as my little guy runs to the front window to watch you pick up the trash and dump it. Thank you for always waving! Your job stinks and yet you look for the little over excited three year old in the window or on the front stoop and make his day by waving. I have heard that you guys also pick up the trash in the alley by my boys preschool on Thursday, he says that you honk your horn for them and wave. What a guy.
Thank you for doing your job well. I'm sorry when its hot out and the trash is extra stinky. You make me want to wrap all dirty diapers and old meat in plastic to keep the smell down for you, I will do my best. Thank you for teaching my boys about acknowledging people and sharing kindness. You are heroes to me and a certain three year old that yells very loudly.

Love,
Amy

Baby #2

To those who are having baby #2,

You can have two favorites! Your heart is not fragmented with one piece with your first and another part with your second, somehow your heart and love expands! And its way harder to take a good picture or squeeze in a shower.

Love, Amy

Escalator Extravaganza

To my little adventurer,

I love your spirit and enthusiasm for the things of this beautiful world. I love that you are brave. Your sense of wonder will take you on an amazing journey as you ask questions and seek out the answers. You, my little boy, will have wonderful stories. 

And your mommy wants to go on adventurers with you. I want to swim beside you as you look beneath the water with goggles. I want to be your foothold when you climb rocks. I want to ride escalators with you! Mommy has the privilege of protecting you. Mommy has the privilege of experiencing life with you. So my little adventurer, let me in on your fun and I beg you, never run away from mommy again. 

 Love, your mommy

ps. Why did you feel the need to take a red bikini with you on this extravaganza?!

Writing Letters

To those who find themselves here, 

Welcome! Glad to have you in my itty bitty corner of internet space (it still blows my mind how the web works)! My hope is that as you sip your coffee, are having your victory lap once the kiddos have gone to bed, or need a little escape from your desk at work I hope this place brings a little joy or thoughtful conversation to your day. 

I am kind of the opposite of a hoarder.  I am more prone to throw something away for sake of neatness and simplicity than I am to keep it for sentimental reasons. However, I have two boxes under my bed. One box holds letters and cards I have received from people over the last 15 years. Words that have brought tears to my eyes, words that have encouraged, inspired, made me giggle like a three year old having ferberts blown on their tummy and words that have made my heart swell. I have kept them all. These letters have made it through every sudden purge and every move. The second box holds every letter and card my hubby has ever given to me. From the letter he composed when I left to college, to the card he got me when our first boy was born, to the random note he left on my pillow for no reason at all.  I have kept them all. 

These two boxes are sacred to me. They signify chapters of my story. They help me remember. They bring happiness. They communicate care. They translate love. 

I love reading through these letters and I love writing letters to people. So this blog is going to be my attempt to write letters. Write letters to my boys, my family, fellow believers, God, friends, moms, you...whomever comes to mind. May this be a place of love, encouragement, and laughter. 

Love, Amy