Superhero

To my Corbyn,

I asked your preschool teachers how you were doing in school. It took me a couple weeks to ask this and even as I did I held my breath waiting for their response.  As I stood there squeezing your brothers legs a little tighter and trying to quickly analyze their facial expression I thought about the the first time I had asked this question and got the response that you were working on keeping your hands to yourself because you were determined to be a crime fighting superhero (naturally). Since then when I have asked you how you are doing, you have told me you talk too much (which I'm sure is true) and only play by yourself (which I know isn't true because I watch as I come and go) so I asked waiting for a list of things we were going to have to discuss and work on at home. But to my surprise, which really shouldn't have been surprising, she looked at me, smiled and said "Corbyn seems to love school and is so compassionate with his friends. He makes people feel comfortable and always asks people to play especially those who are having a rough time".

This will always be better than A's on a report card. Being a friend, being hospitable, compassionate, and caring matters. At not even 4 years old you already get it. You are already making these things apart of who you are and for that my boy, I am so very proud of you.  May you continue to feel deeply for your friends, to look out for those hurting around you, and act out of love and compassion.

Little man, you really are a superhero! Just remember...keep those hands to yourself =).

Love,
Mommy

Parenting Peace

To mommy’s, 

Natural vs. Drug-induced

Breast-feeding vs. bottle feeding

On demand vs. parent directed feeding

Co sleeping vs. Crib the first night

Letting them cry it out vs. Rocking to sleep

TV vs. No TV

However, you are doing it, if you are doing it with your child’s best interests in mind than you are doing it beautifully. Every child is different. Every parent is different. There is no right or wrong, no instruction manual, no 12 steps you can follow for parenting. It’s basically praying for miracles, trial and error, and sometimes offering up a hail mary. It’s beautiful and messy and hard and rewarding and overwhelming and awesome! 

You are the perfect parent for your child. May we make decisions for our children out of love and grace.  Happy parenting!

Love, Amy

My two totally opposite littles that have taught me I know nothing and everything about parenting.

Election

Dear Fellow Followers of Christ,

The election has come and gone. The divisive negative ads have come and gone. Some people are in mourning and are packing their bags for Switzerland. Some people are over the moon excited. But what this election doesn't change, no matter if you are toasting your glass or shaking your head is that we have the same mission.

It hasn't changed. Not one intsy weentsy tiny little bit. Our call to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and love our neighbor as ourself remains the same.

This is GOOD news.

Love, Amy

Kisser Bug

To my sweet smooshy,

I looked in the mirror tonight and I have little fingernail scratches all over my face. I don't mind though. They are from your over zealous kisses that mommy adores. I so adore you little boy! You grab my face or hair, squeal, and aggressively pull me close to your wide open slobbery mouth and then let go with a huge smile on your face.  Love! I hope, my little man, as you get older you stay passionate,  endearing, and so full of love that you can't help but leave your mark on people.

Love, Mommy

Body

To my body,

You are absolutely incredible. I'm sorry for all the harsh things I have said about you and how I have blamed you for a pair of jeans not fitting right and given you chips and cookies and said "here make this make me feel energized". I'm sorry for how I took advantage of how amazing you are.  Two times you have grown a HUMAN (mighty cute ones if I say so), seven months ago you held an eight pound baby giving him everything he needed to survive, for over six months now you have been the sole source of my baby boys food, two months ago I was out of breath and my legs were screaming at me for running down my street to the blue store (probably less than 200 yards), but tonight I was able to take you on a four mile trek through our neighborhood.  We smelled the yummy food from the restaurants feeding their customers, we heard laughter coming from houses, we saw the sky change from a light bluish gray to a dark foggy blue, we could feel the pavement beneath us. These things made me feel alive.  Thank you for making me feel alive and well, for keeping me alive. Thank you for putting up with me and turning junk food into energy for so long and keeping me healthy even when I wasn't doing much to stay healthy.  I promise to take care of you, to continue to push you, and say nicer things about you even when it comes to bathing suit season. Here is to many, many more years together!

Love, Amy

Parenthood

To the makers of Parenthood,

Thank you! Thank you for making a show that is relatable, that makes me laugh and cry and pray to God I am making good choices for my littles. Thanks for making it at least feel like the hours spent on netflix are in some way benefitting my parenting skills!

Love, Amy

Happy Halloween

To my little monster & my superhero,

You two are the cutest!

Love, Mom

Beauty

To my boys,

Today I have been thrown up on, used as a tissue, and have changed clothes three times. I have food dribbled down the front of me, my hair is pulled back in a ponytail that hasn't even been brushed today, my finger nail polish is completely chipped, and I desperately need to visit a salon to get my eyebrows waxed and my hair colored. Basically, I am looking pretty hot.

Yet, I feel beautiful. You make me feel beautiful. Your smile lights up the room when you see me. You throw your arms around my neck and tell me you love me to the moon and back infinity plus one times. You laugh at my attempt to dance.  Your little sick self rests comfortably in my arms. You tell me I look like a princess when I hide in my closet to try on a pre-baby dress.

I may not turn heads walking down the street but I couldn't feel more beautiful than just being your mommy today. Thank you for helping remind me beauty is much deeper than a good hair day and wearing eyeliner.

Love,
Your mommy

Sleeplessness

Dear God,

Give me patience and energy. And please, please help my baby sleep through the night (or just wake up once, that'd be ok too).

Love, Amy

Shelter

To my precious boys,

I want to keep you at home with me forever. I want you to stay within these safe, understanding walls. We can sing, dance, build forts, play superheroes, read books, color, heck, I'll even let you watch movies but I want you to stay here, right here, in the security and comfort of our home. Mommy loves you, loves all of you, your fun quarks and silly imaginations, your cute freckles and stinky feet. Mommy believes you two are the greatest and does not want anyone to tell you otherwise. I don't want to see you hurt because someone calls you a "baby" or looks at you strange because they don't understand why you run around making whooshing noises with your hands.  You are special and unique and deeply loved.

But mommy also knows she can not shelter you forever.  There is this big, amazing world with beautiful people that I also want you to experience and embrace. Yes, you will have awesome friends you can depend on.  Yes, you will succeed in lots of things (not everything, but lots). Yes, there will be times where you will be picked first. But yes, there will also be times where you will be picked last. Yes, you will experience rejection. Yes, you will be hurt or misunderstood. Yes, you will come home crying one day because your feelings were hurt. Although I would love to make sure your heart never has to feel pain know those are the times where character is built and God's strength and grace is prevalent. You will learn from those times.  You will be a better man because of those times. But when you can't see it and you just need someone to tell you how absolutely wonderful you are, you know who to come to!  I love you boys!

Love, Mom

Belly Button

Dear Belly Button,

I don't think you will ever be the same.  After every run and ab workout I am checking on you to see if you have gone back to your cute concave self but thus far, no such luck.  At first, belly button I was very frustrated by this but now I am trying to embrace your squishy outtieness. You have stretched for two beautiful healthy baby boys and for that I am thankful. You stand as a symbol for the lives I had the privilege to hold inside me. The precious lives that kicked you, poked you, pushed you till you were nonexistent. I don't want to look at you as fugly but as a token of being a mommy. Thank you for the reminder every day about how amazing my body is and how fortunate I am to have carried the two greatest gifts I have ever been given!

Love, Amy

Superhero Saturday: Trash truck guys

To the trash truck guys,

You bring joy to little boys all over North Park Thursday mornings! Shrieks and then little thunder pats of footsteps are heard as my little guy runs to the front window to watch you pick up the trash and dump it. Thank you for always waving! Your job stinks and yet you look for the little over excited three year old in the window or on the front stoop and make his day by waving. I have heard that you guys also pick up the trash in the alley by my boys preschool on Thursday, he says that you honk your horn for them and wave. What a guy.
Thank you for doing your job well. I'm sorry when its hot out and the trash is extra stinky. You make me want to wrap all dirty diapers and old meat in plastic to keep the smell down for you, I will do my best. Thank you for teaching my boys about acknowledging people and sharing kindness. You are heroes to me and a certain three year old that yells very loudly.

Love,
Amy

Baby #2

To those who are having baby #2,

You can have two favorites! Your heart is not fragmented with one piece with your first and another part with your second, somehow your heart and love expands! And its way harder to take a good picture or squeeze in a shower.

Love, Amy

Escalator Extravaganza

To my little adventurer,

I love your spirit and enthusiasm for the things of this beautiful world. I love that you are brave. Your sense of wonder will take you on an amazing journey as you ask questions and seek out the answers. You, my little boy, will have wonderful stories. 

And your mommy wants to go on adventurers with you. I want to swim beside you as you look beneath the water with goggles. I want to be your foothold when you climb rocks. I want to ride escalators with you! Mommy has the privilege of protecting you. Mommy has the privilege of experiencing life with you. So my little adventurer, let me in on your fun and I beg you, never run away from mommy again. 

 Love, your mommy

ps. Why did you feel the need to take a red bikini with you on this extravaganza?!

Writing Letters

To those who find themselves here, 

Welcome! Glad to have you in my itty bitty corner of internet space (it still blows my mind how the web works)! My hope is that as you sip your coffee, are having your victory lap once the kiddos have gone to bed, or need a little escape from your desk at work I hope this place brings a little joy or thoughtful conversation to your day. 

I am kind of the opposite of a hoarder.  I am more prone to throw something away for sake of neatness and simplicity than I am to keep it for sentimental reasons. However, I have two boxes under my bed. One box holds letters and cards I have received from people over the last 15 years. Words that have brought tears to my eyes, words that have encouraged, inspired, made me giggle like a three year old having ferberts blown on their tummy and words that have made my heart swell. I have kept them all. These letters have made it through every sudden purge and every move. The second box holds every letter and card my hubby has ever given to me. From the letter he composed when I left to college, to the card he got me when our first boy was born, to the random note he left on my pillow for no reason at all.  I have kept them all. 

These two boxes are sacred to me. They signify chapters of my story. They help me remember. They bring happiness. They communicate care. They translate love. 

I love reading through these letters and I love writing letters to people. So this blog is going to be my attempt to write letters. Write letters to my boys, my family, fellow believers, God, friends, moms, you...whomever comes to mind. May this be a place of love, encouragement, and laughter. 

Love, Amy

White Couch

I want this couch. I love white. Am I crazy? I have a little boy (and another little boy on the way) who digs in the dirt and eats cheetos and drinks orange juice and doesn't seem to notice if his shoes are on or off.

Homemade Ice Cream

Yes it still is winter and it looks like we may get one more good snow in Prescott but one of my all time favorite foods is homemade ice cream so it doesn't matter to me if there are snow flurries or not. Last night Corbyn and I whipped up some homemade ice cream and had a picnic on the living room floor, in front of the fire with our homemade vanilla ice cream. Corbyn loved mixing the ingredients together and loved sitting on the counter watching it go round to make the ice cream. He said it was "delish", I agreed and I thought it was a fun, easy thing to do with him.

To make a classic vanilla in a Cuisinart Ice Cream maker you take 1 cup milk, 3/4 cup sugar, 2 cups heavy cream, and 2 tablespoons (plus a little) vanilla. Yum yum, enjoy!

Push Present

I want two of these from Frosted Willow on etsy.com with both my boys first initial on them. I just have to figure out what baby boo boo's name is going to be.

ps. Wil, hint hint!

Mommy Mondays: Embracing

Being pregnant is a miracle. If you think of all the things that have to come together in perfect time its amazing that anyone can get pregnant. I might understand the science of sperm and egg coming together to start the process of making a baby but everything about growing a human inside of me and then birthing that little baby causes me to just praise God for his intimate and intricate design. Again, its a miracle.

I have never struggled with infertility, I have never lost a child in the womb or out of the womb, I am actually one of those people who better be on some kind of birth control or I would be on my way to Duggar size family. Though its been easy for me to conceive I have friends who have struggled to get pregnant. I have prayed over people who have just lost their baby. I have cried for multiple couples who have loved and dreamed for a child they have not been able to have. I can't imagine, but being pregnant I force myself to think about those faces and lift them up in prayer. Why? Because though being pregnant is a miracle and I love love love watching baby move and kick and even like watching my belly grow sometimes its not easy. You get sick, your back hurts, sleep decides to take a hiatus, veins pop out, you gain more weight than you want...fill in the blank, but I don't want to complain. I think complaining or whining about such a blessing leads me to being ungrateful and digs deeper into the wounds of those already hurt. They would give anything to hold their child or feel their child move inside their belly.

I have been given the privilege to carry this little life. To those out there who have not been able to have a baby or who have lost a baby, know I will be embracing this pregnancy, the good and the bad knowing that I am carrying a miracle and praying for your own miracle. I'm sorry for the times I may have said something or some one else has said something that led to you hurting more.

Mommy Mondays: Names

Do you have a name picked out yet? No. Well, maybe I do but my answer right now is no, I don't. It's hard to pull the trigger in giving this little life a name that will last forever. I want a name thats distinctive, not overly used but something that most people would like and think is strong. I want a name that means something. I want to pick a name that works good for a baby, child, and adult. I want a name that can't be shortened or given a nickname I don't like. There's a ton to consider when choosing a name for our Baby Boo (that's what Corbyn calls him, which means everyone else does too).

Then when you do finally narrow it down and share it everyone has an opinion or two. Even non responses are opinions. Because of this we decided not to share Corbyn's name before he was born. And I think I am leaning towards not telling anyone again till Boo is born.

Did you share your kids names before they were born? Do you think you would? Or would you just like to introduce them once their born?

Baby Boo, I promise I will have the perfect name picked out for you by the time you make your debut! Love you Boo! Oh and ps. Your big brother is very excited to meet you! Can you tell?

San Diego Bound

Moving to San Diego list of wants:

A bright colored beach cruiser with a kids bike trailer on back.

A cute beach cover up. To be able to play and still feel like I'm getting sun without revealing the bod =)
A double jogging stroller (in Corbyn's favorite color) for all the walking and getting in shape I will be doing.
A backpack for my little man who can not wait to go to preschool a couple mornings a week. He goes poopy on the potty and then asks "can I go to preschool now mom, please, please?"
San Diego Zoo passes. What a fun morning it will be to take the boys. Thanks to my bropher and my sis-in-law we got these for Christmas already!
A sailboat. A girl can dream!

Soon San Diego, soon!

Glitter

Every girl needs a little glitter in her life!

Glitter Headband
Glitter Ballet Flats
Glitter Sweatshirt
Glitter NailsGlitter Dress

Just a few ways to add a little subtle sparkle!

Home

Four years ago we purchased our first "home". For the past four years we have filled that home with memories, laughter, love, and who are we kidding, stuff. If our walls could talk they would talk about the joy we had when we brought our baby boy home from the hospital, they would talk about all the different smells of spices as the lady of the house learned to cook for a family, they would probably share about our anger when we figured out one of the dogs was repeatedly peeing in the house, they would show a slideshow of all the happy faces of people that came to our house to share life with us, and they would know in the fibers of their wood (or drywall) they weren't just walls but were part of a place we were/are so thankful for.

As the For Sale sign went up I almost reverted to the 10 year old Amy who kicked down the for sale sign in front of our family home and attempted to tie my cousin and I to the door frame on moving day. These are my first reactions, my carnal reactions to change. I desire to put down roots and stay put. To keep familiarity and comfort close. But these past couple months that I have pulled in the driveway and seen the for sale sign starring back at me I have thought about what makes a place "home". It's not if it has 3 bedrooms, a den, nice kitchen, space for your stuff, it's not whether you rent or own, it's not even where it is but home is wherever I am with my boys. The memories can be made elsewhere, the laughter can fill a small town home in San Diego, the love will permeate where we are, and the stuff...well, we can get rid of a lot of stuff.

I am praying that wherever we move into we make it just as much as a home as our first home has been. I am praying for our new memories. I am praying that we can have a space big enough to work and play comfortably and be proud to have people over. I am also praying for whoever moves into our home in Prescott Valley, AZ that they would also be blessed by the memories they make there.

Someone said "You can make a house out of walls and beams but a home is made from love and dreams". Here's to love and dreams!

ps. Here is the link to our home in Prescott, take a gander, make an offer =)

Happy New Year

This year I am looking forward to:

Meeting this little guy!
Moving to San Diego.

Planting a church in the South Park/North Park area of San Diego.

Being more of a stay at home mommy. Its going to take sacrifice and a lot of working some strange hours from home but I can't think of anything else I would rather be doing.

I am trusting in 2012 that God can move mountains! The word I am going to adopt for 2012 is peace. I am praying for His peace, that I would live in His peace, and that I could help bring peace to others.

Happy 2012! Blessings and Peace to you!